


Insecure

by peepeepoopoo33



Category: The Amazing World of Gumball
Genre: Angst, Brotherly Love, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Self-Worth Issues, Trauma, not physical tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:53:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29292450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peepeepoopoo33/pseuds/peepeepoopoo33
Summary: Darwin begins to doubt himself and avoids Gumball as a result. Gumball, on the other hand, misses his brother and would do anything to find out what's on his mind.(PLATONIC)
Relationships: Darwin Watterson & Gumball Watterson
Kudos: 3





	Insecure

Darwin wasn't paying attention in class, well, nobody was, but Darwin was certainly the deepest into his mind.

"Darwin!" The ape teacher called

His attention snapped back "Huh?"

"Do you know the answer to this question?"

Shoot! Mrs. Simian always chose the most unfocused one in class to answer her questions.

"Uhhhh....." he paused for a minute, visibly nervous. He stood up. All eyes were on him. "4?" He pulled a nervous smile.

"The capital of Japan is 4?" Mrs Simian asked, sarcastically.

A few of his classmates chuckled. Darwin sat back down looking defeated. He looked down at his hands blushing. Gumball observed how upset he was. He knew Darwin hated having people laugh at him, but he's never looked that upset, especially not at a few chuckles.

"Hey, dude, you ok?"

"Uh, yeah... yeah I'm fine!"

"QUIET!" The ape silenced them before going back to her teaching.

Darwin continued his deep thinking. 

"Do I deserve this? I'm so worthless. All Gumball ever wanted was a goldfish but instead he got me. An overly sensitive and jealous brother. One he has to take care of too. I feel bad for him, he deserves better. Better than me. He's stuck with me."

Darwin let out a soft sigh.

"Maybe not replacing me was the wrong choice."

Darwin's eyes filled with tears as he shivered at the thought. He tried to convince himself it wasn't true and that he's better than he gives himself credit for, but was unable. He believed his statement without a doubt. He glanced at Gumball.

It's not like Darwin thought he was perfect, I mean, they're brothers. Everyone had at least one thing they hated about their sibling, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was that Darwin couldn't find a single thing he didn't hate about himself.

The bell rung. Almost the entire class sighed of relief as they left. Gumball ran to catch up to Darwin.

"Hey buddy I-"

Darwin simply walked past him. Gumball was extremely confused.

"Is he mad at me?" He thought to himself. "No... maybe he just didn't notice me. Yeah, I'll catch him at lunch."

Sure enough, Gumball saw his brother sitting alone at lunch.

"Hey dude!" Gumball said enthusiastically as he sat next to him.

"Hi, Gumball." Darwin answered blankly before going back to eating his food. 

There was an awkward pause before Gumball tried to start up a conversation.

"How do people name things?" He asked. Darwin simply shrugged without looking up from his food.

"I mean..." he took Darwin's fork "was one caveman like 'hey guys! I'm gonna call this thing a spoon!' and everyone else was like 'deal!'"

"Maybe." Darwin said blankly as he grabbed his spoon back.

"What's wrong with you, man? Why won't you say anything?" 

"I'm fine, Gumball?"

"You sure? Cause-"

"I said I'm fine!" Darwin snapped, looking at Gumball for the first time at lunch.

Gumball sighed in frustration before noticing that Darwin hasn't eaten his food. He was simply poking at it.

"If you're not gonna eat your food you can just give it to me." Gumball said jokingly. Darwin passed him his tray before walking out of the lunch room.

"Due? Dude! Where are you going?!"

Darwin ignored him.

Meanwhile, in the boys bathroom, Darwin was sitting in the corner behind the stalls venting to his diary. 

"Darwin?" He heard a high pitched voice call. He wiped the small amount of tears in his eyes before closing his diary and going to see who it was. He saw a familiar ballon. 

"Alan? What are you doing here

"Well, I saw you running out of the lunch room and wanted to see if you were ok."

"Y-yeah. I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You've been acting different today."

Darwin sighed. "Don't tell anyone, k?"

"I won't."

"I'm trying to avoid Gumball cause honestly I just... I don't feel like I deserve him." Darwin said as he rubbed his arm.

"What?" Alan was shocked. 

"I said I'm trying to avoid Gumball cause-"

"No no, I heard you the first time, but why not?" 

"It's a long story. I don't really want to get in to it..." he looked up at Alan. "Alan, is it normal to hate yourself?"

Alan paused.

"I used to hate myself."

"Huh?"

"It's true! I don't know how it started, but I couldn't even look myself in the mirror without wanting to cry. I pretended I was alright so no one would worry, when in reality, I'd cry myself to sleep. Eventually, My parents got me a good therapist who gave me some antidepressants..." Alan showed Darwin said antidepressants. "That's why I'm so nice to every, to keep them from hating myself like I did... and sometimes still do." Alan finished as he teared up in the mirror.

"Wow, Alan, I- I don't know what to say."

"Shhhhh" Alan put a finger over Darwin's mouth.. well... end of ballon string to be more precise. "It's alright. You know, you should really talk to Gumball about this."

"Do you think he'd care?"

"Look, I may or may not have seen a soft side of him, but you're his brother-"

"No I'm not, I'm just his pet." Darwin muttered.

"Does Gumball see you like that?"

"I don't think so but-"

"Then talk to him! I'm sure he cares about you! Besides, it's a way better option than self harm."

"Self harm? I'm not cutting or anything."

"That's not the other form of self harm. Don't you know that ruining personal relationships is a form of self harm too?"

"No. I-I didn't."

"You seem pretty attached to Gumball. Losing him could seriously mess up your mental state."

Darwin said nothing. Not a word.

"Think about it. Do you really think you deserve this?"

Again, no response. Only a shrug.

The bell rung. Alan sighed and floated to class. Darwin stared at himself in the mirror.

"Yes. I do."


End file.
